I realized a change was needed the night Gio Lopez committed to North Carolina as a transfer from South Alabama.

To set the scene: My wife, Kim, and I have a 15-year-old daughter named Ellie. She has high-functioning autism that can be inhibiting for her to a degree but also balanced by her sheer genius on so many topics and love for her family.

Working 90 hours a week with a wife who almost died two years ago and hasn't fully recovered and a daughter who needs me makes it a sincere challenge. And that played out twice in April and really had a profound effect on me.

First came the night West Virginia basketball player Jonathan Powell committed to UNC, the other was the night Lopez pledged for Bill Belichick’s program. On both occasions, I peeled myself away from my office at home and took Ellie to Jordan Lake to go star gazing.

She knows just about everything there is to know about the solar system. I know next to nothing, though I have attained a little bit of knowledge thanks to my beautiful teacher during these rare outings.

Ellie wanted to go somewhere that didn’t have much “light pollution” so she could see more of what’s up there and share it with me. I embraced it because we both need me climbing into her world more than I have.

Daddy-daughter stuff is special, but it hasn’t happened enough. And both times we were the only ones in the parking lot at Jordan Lake well past dark, breaking news hit. First it was Powell, and the next time it was Lopez.

As I was coordinating with my staff at Tar Heel Illustrated how to handle it, Ellie wanted me to see “all the moons around Jupiter" because they were so visible that night. I was on my phone talking or texting, sometimes directing. I was not looking at those moons and, more importantly, I was not giving my precious child the attention she deserved.

I knew later that night after Lopez committed, well it was really at around 2 AM when I was still in my office working, that something had to change. But it wasn’t a comfortable thought. And I didn’t fully process it. I couldn’t because there was no time, someone else was about to commit or we had to track down intel on a possible basketball portal target. Not to mention my annual April grind of building a war chest of content for the “offseason” that would allow me what I like to call “human time.”

So, this past Monday night, actually Tuesday morning at around 12:30, my wife passed my office on her way upstairs to bed. I was still working, naturally. I asked her to come in and sit down and told her I was done at THI. I couldn’t work 90 hours a week anymore, I couldn’t be on top of every aspect of both portals, recruiting, creating offseason content while producing current content, and traveling, while managing my staff, organizing and running Tar Heel Illustrated.

I have been in this business for 29 years and absolutely love it. I adore what I do. Covering UNC or the rest of the ACC as I have, plus the pro teams in the state, I have loved it. I’m pretty damn good at it and have built a justified reputation. In 11 years at THI, I have moved it from an afterthought to one of the top two media outlets covering Tar Heel football and basketball. I am so proud of that and the staff that has been as much a part of this growth and progress as I have.

I’ve long called it a labor of love because that’s what it’s been. But my brother’s sage advice, offered more than a few times, has been, “Don’t love the work more than it will love you back.”

So, back to my conversation with Kim in the wee hours of the night. She sat and listened. She knew I was serious. I am always exhausted this time of year and say stuff about not knowing if I can plow through another season. But some scaling back and a few months and I was always ready to tackle the next season.

Tuesday morning, however, our 7-year-old boxer, Max, had multiple seizures and died right in front of the three of us. It was sudden, sad, draining, and eye opening. It made me think about a friend who recently checked on me to see if I was doing okay because of how exhausted I looked in one of our podcasts. I said I was but have been running on fumes for some time.

And as I sat there thinking about Max; just a dog and family member but a life lesson as well; I came to a decision. Life is precious and it can be fleeting. And my tombstone won’t ever read that THI beat our competitor on this recruiting story or that portal story. It also won’t note the constant travel, sleepless nights (literally), leaving an arena after security was gone so I was locked in, going through TSA all the time, one new hotel room after another, one flight delay after another, and so on.

I LOVE what I do and I still want to do it. I have a whole lot in the tank. I have a passion for sports journalism that hasn’t waned one bit. I have a ton to offer this industry; an industry that needs guys like me who adhere to basic journalistic principles, can diplomatically be critical, who have my experience, depth of knowledge, can cultivate sources, can discern and read the room, tell stories, and talk on podcasts.

I absolutely love this field. But I don’t love everything about running THI. I want to take my daughter to Jordan Lake on a clear night in the next few days so she can stargaze and I can learn. And I don’t want some dude to commit in the portal forcing me to race 40 minutes home to jump on it.

That’s why I decided it’s time to look for something else in this field. I have a ton to give but don’t want to work 90 hours a week and always be on call 24/7. I have not taken a day off since June 25, 2023. I have taken off just 28 days in nearly 11 years in this job. That’s approximately one day off every 140 days. That’s just not healthy, that’s not being a good husband, and that’s not being a good father.

So, when news broke Wednesday – a day-plus after I made the decision - the On3 merger with Rivals was announced, the door swung open to step away. Apparently, On3 doesn’t need my services, which is fine, because I need something new.

I love THI. I love what we’ve built. I love my staff. I love that with such a small budget and limited resources we’ve made a mark in this marketplace. But I am ready for a new challenge in sports media in this area. I have some lines in the water but am very open to what could be out there.

As for THI, I am under contract until July 31, so it will be business as usual until then. My staff knows and has pledged to continue as we’ve been. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

So, thank you to our many paying subscribers who have made this ride personally and professionally enjoyable, remwarding, and life-shaping. Thank you to those of you who have become regulars on our YouTube channel, Twitter, and Facebook. And to everyone who has praised or criticized.

I’ve engaged with the critics at times because I think it’s important to take their words seriously. If I can learn from what they say that makes me better moving forward. So even to the haters, thank you.

Again, I love this work and want to stay in it. I just don’t want to work 90 hours a week. I don’t want to not be there for my wife, who can't work anymore and needs me around more to assist her as she continues through her new challenges. I don’t want to miss stargazing with Ellie. And I don’t want to end up like Max before my time should be up.